If you think that pampering your child to an extent that you perform all their chores for them, is good parenting; then you are wrong. You are not doing them any favor. Instead, you are messing up their personality and are making them depend upon you. Children easily develop helplessness when they are not used to doing anything for themselves, on their own.
The most important step towards making your child independent is to make them confident. And in order to make them confident, you have to provide them with small responsibilities. With these easy tips, you can make your child more independent and confident as they grow up.
Create A To-Do List
Make a list of tasks for your child that they can do on their own. There is always something that a child can do on his/her own. For instance, your 6-year-old child should know how to pick up all his toys and arrange them. You can also discuss it with them. Ask them about the tasks that they would love to do on their own. If you think they are being stubborn then you have to be a bit stern about it. Make them practice arranging toys in front of you twice or maybe thrice. And then put this task on them. Every time they play, they have to arrange their toys back in their place. You can also ask them to dress up on their own. But if you think that they are unable to manage it well at the moment, then you can eliminate it from their list. Make sure that you add tasks according to their age. For instance, younger children can get dressed up on their own, eat and pick after themselves too and so on. But you cannot expect a 5-year-old to do all of it.
Do Not Demand Perfection
Children are in their developing stage and you must not expect perfection from them. They are developing their skills and they will fail and learn. Mishaps will be a part of the learning process and you need to understand that. You are not demanding perfection; you are just building up their personality to be more independent in whatever they do. Make sure that you do not criticize them while they are trying. Be gentle with them so that they can show interest in learning from you. You need to let them know that everyone makes mistakes and it is okay because it is a crucial part of learning.
Give Them Time
Being impatient with your kids will lead you nowhere. They will be more annoyed than you. You have to give them their time and space to pick up on things. A child needs more time to finish a task as compared to adults. If you ask them to hurry up, they will feel stressed and won’t enjoy the task either. For instance, if your child takes 15 minutes to get dressed in the morning; switch your morning routine backward. Wake up 20 minutes earlier to give your child the time and ease to dress up in their comfort zone. Once they are practiced and skilled, they will be able to do it faster.
Set A Routine
A constant change in routine is never going to help your kid settle. Thus, make sure that you set a schedule for your kids. It makes it easier for them to adapt to their habits. Also, it is always best if you can sit and talk to your child as to why doing a certain task is important for them. Keep telling your child casually that they have to pick up the toys before they go to bed. And around an hour before bedtime, you need to give them the final call to wind up everything and arrange it. This way, they will set a schedule for themselves and will understand that by all means, they have to arrange their toys before bedtime. After some days or maybe weeks, your kid won’t need a reminder and will set the toys back in place, on their own, before going to bed.
Appreciate Them
Appreciation is very important. If you do not praise your child for all the efforts he/she is putting in, then they won’t feel motivated enough to do it. For instance, your child needed your help in dressing up a few days back and now they are doing it on their own. This is where they deserve appreciation along with a hug or maybe their favorite candy bar. Praise always keeps the kids going and pushes them to try further. So make it a part of your routine. Remember that criticizing your child is never going to motivate him/her.
Conclusion
You save a lot of time when you just pick up the toys within 2 minutes and arrange them back. But in the process of getting things done quicker, you are making your child less confident and more dependent upon you. This is not the right way to develop a child’s personality as they won’t ever feel confident enough to do things on their own. Thus, with these little tips, you can start building an independent personality of your child so that they can feel more confident as they grow up.